SADHANA

AND I ANSWER THE CALL TO PRAYER
SADHANA...

I RISE AT 4AM TO PRACTICE PRAYER. YOGA AND MEDITATION
DURING THE AMRIT VELA.
THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING
I PRAY FOR ALL THOSE I HOLD IN MY HEART
I PRAY FOR ALL THOSE I HAVE NOT MET
AND ALL THOSE I HAVE YET TO MEET

I WILL NOT LIE AND SAY IT IS EASY TO WAKE THIS EARLY
IT IS SOOOOOO NOT EASY...

BUT AS SOON AS I STEP FOOT OUTSIDE
BREATH THE AIR(IT IS FRESH AND CRISP) THE SKY IS THE COLOR
OF MIDNITE BLUE WITH DUST OF SPARKLY STARS. THE BIRDS
ARE SINGING THEIR GOOD MORNINGS. I KNOW I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE

MY FAVORITE PART OF SADHANA IS JAPJI. WHICH COMES FROM THE SIKH
HOLY BOOK THE GURU GRANTH SAHIB..I LOVE LOVE THIS PRAYER
AND I LOVE LEARNING THE PROPER PRONUNCIATION OF IT IN GURMUKI..
MY HEART IS JOYFUL IN BELIEVING I WILL ONE DAY HAVE JAPJI MEMORIZED
AND CAN CHANT AND SING IT ALOUD TO MY HEARTS CONTENT....!!!

MY LIFE HAS BEEN FILLED WITH STRESS .CHANGE. A SWIPE OF LOSS AND
THE JOY OF KNOWING I AM COMING CLOSE TO FINALLY ACHIEVING MY
DREAM OF BEING A YOGINI...

THIS IS MY UPDATE
AND THIS IS A SMALL DOSE OF THE BEGIN OF JAPJI (THE PRAYER THAT SPEAKS
TO MY SOUL)

cuz it makes me feel happy and peaceful

*PLEASE NOTE THIS HYMN COMES FROM THE SIKH HOLY BOOK*

"— February 23, 2007 — In this subtitled video Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan is singing in Qawwali style a Hymn from the Guru Granth Sahib which promotes tolerance towards all humanity, every faith and religion, peace, love and goodwill. This message of pluralism and interfaith harmony amongst the world faiths is unique. The Hymn is as follows:

"koee bolai raam raam koee khudhaae ||
Some call the Lord 'Ram, Ram', and some 'Khuda'.

koee saevai guseeaa koee alaahi ||1||
Some serve Him as 'Gusain', others as 'Allah'.

kaaran karan kareem ||
He is the Cause of causes, and Generous.

kirapaa dhhaar reheem ||1||
He showers His Grace and Mercy upon us.

koee naavai theerathh koee haj jaae ||
Some pilgrims bathe at sacred shrines, others go on Hajj to Mecca.

koee karai poojaa koee sir nivaae ||2||
Some do devotional worship, whilst others bow their heads in prayer.

koee parrai baedh koee kathaeb ||
Some read the Vedas, and some the Koran.

koee oudtai neel koee supaedh ||3||
Some wear blue robes, and some wear white.

koee kehai thurak koee kehai hi(n)dhoo ||
Some call themselves Muslim, and some call themselves Hindu.

koee baashhai bhisath koee suragi(n)dhoo ||4||
Some yearn for paradise, and others long for heaven.

kahu naanak jin hukam pashhaathaa ||
Says Nanak, one who realizes the Hukam of God's Will,

prabh saahib kaa thin bhaedh jaathaa ||5||
knows the secrets of his Lord Master."

It is in our harmony, respect and peace that we express our love for the Lord and His Creation.

May the Lord bless everyone.

Sikh Gurus have propagated the message of "many paths" leading to the One God and ultimate salvation for all souls who tread on the path of righteousness. They have supported the view that proponents of all faiths can, by doing good and virtuous deeds and by remembering the Lord can certainly achieve salvation. The students of the Sikh faith are told to accept ALL leading faiths as possible vehicle for attaining spiritual enlightenment provided the faithful study, ponder and practice the teachings of their prophets and leaders. The Sri Guru Granth Sahib says: "Do not say that the Vedas, the Bible and the Koran are false. Those who do not contemplate them are false." (SGGS Ang 1350).

Most of the 15 Bhagats that contributed to the Sri Guru Granth Sahib were non-Sikhs and belonged to faiths including Hinduism and Islam.

Sikhs have always being eager exponents of interfaith dialogue and will not only accept the right of other to practise their faith but have fought and laid down their lives to protect this right for others. So much so that the Ninth Sikh Guru did something unparalleled in history. He as a founder of one religion laid down His life for the right of people to practise a different faith altogether. At a time of religious persecution, Guru Tegh Bahadar hearing the pleas of the Hindu Kashmiri Pandit, gave His life protecting the right of Hindus to practise their religion.

For these reasons, the Sikhs have practise their faith as an Interfaith religion and take a lead in uniting all the different peoples and religions of the world so that together peace and prosperity can be found for all the peoples of this Globe and the suffering of the poor of the Third world can be properly addressed together. The message of unity of the faiths is summed up in this quotation from the Guru Granth Sahib: "One who recognizes that all spiritual paths lead to the One shall be emancipated. One who speaks lies shall fall into hell and burn. In all the world, the most blessed and sanctified are those who remain absorbed in Truth." (SGGS Ang 142) "

i have decided

to love him..
with all my heart and soul

he is one of the most beautiful people i have
ever met on this planet

and i call him my own.. my love
my best.....

thank u my love for letting me lean
on you when im not strong...
thank u for loving me unconditionally
thank u for just being

so it is decided again
but oh so offically

i love him

raw food and healing in pictures

this was my first attempt at actually trying to use some
editing something or other so bear with me if you will.

so many new things have unfolded in the last week
and this is the last thing i thought i would
be making a video about but this is what
has come out of me on this day.

i am on a journey
and i am facing the truth about myself
my behaviors and my habits
i have decided to be truthful with myself about how
i treated my being (body mind and soul)

i am going for the full healing here folks

u know the thing is no matter how well we trick others
about what we are up to
within ourselves we know the truth
and often its these lies and tricks that keep us from
our true potential and our true healing
and a life of happiness

i am just sharing as these truths ufold to me
and my decision to jump on the healing path

in no way are these pictures easy to share
and in no way is explaining my emotions or state of being
in these pictures easy. its quite painful actually.

its a pain im willing to endure
in hope that some where along the way
someone will come upon me and know they are not alone
and its ok to finally look at urself for who you truly are
and what you truly do.

the first step is being true to you
u have to be brave and probably endure some losses in regard
to friendships and old patterns that supported u
and ur old way of being and this is ok
this will pass when u realize

it is truly easier to live in truth and health
than it is to live in pain and lies

may this be your permission

with sweet love and blessings

i hate myself because.........

im fat

i hate myself
cuz im skinny

these are the deep dark affirmations that so many women and men around
this world silently and sometimes confidently verbalize aloud to themselves
and their loved ones and strangers for that matter.

i can honestly say i have never hated myself for my
junk in my trunk but there have been times when i have felt
very overwhelmed and uncomfortable physically and emotionally because
of my weight.

i first began to notice weight gain after a loss of a long love affair

i blame the gain on drinking several 40z and smoking the herbs
that caused the chain reaction of burritos and sweets.

there was a brief period tho ...when i put myself together, put my big girl panties on and got my
stuff together. sobered up , stopped smoking and worked on my heart ache

and again...the longing for my old love started creeping back.
so i said to myself screw these big girl panties im sad, im hurting, i will never find a love like that again...(poor me)(and so not true)
soo..........

i started drinking and smoking heavily this time. the actions i made during this time are ones that make my heart (ache!!) and ones that im
positive have made lasting scars on my subconsious.
Yowwzie thank the Lord for Kundalini Yoga.

any ho... my point in this blog is i wanted to give a short example
of how i started my weight gain... and the cycles that brought on this gain.....for me it was suppression...i didnt want to feel.. cuz well
feeling... just hurt. so i ate and i drank.

now i know MANY are on the other extreme of starving themselves...
like the ache they feel within themselves isnt troubling and painful enough.

SOME cause more physical pain
by eating but then exercising to the point of punishment for eating. a vicious cycle of self abuse.

its painful that so many of us are hurting and have
began punishing and harming ourselves with one of the
most beautiful gifts on this planet. FOOD.

food is great i love it. and i am grateful.
but i also
realize the connections of abuse with it.

i feel one of the biggest
steps towards healing is being honest with ourselves about what our
relationship with food is.

the first step is self honesty.

are u abusing urself with food?
by lack of? are u eating but secretly abusing urself for eating and
exercising crazy to not gain one single pound? for nourshing yourself?
are u just not eating?

are u eating not for hunger but in order to gain that numb feeling?
do you feel like ur to fat but actually are at normal weight and height for your age and size? so u skip meals?

these are not healthy behaviors as i am sure u know.
and i suppose i am listing this blog in hopes that someone
out there comes across this
recognizes this... in themselves perhaps... and seeks help.

health is vital for true happiness and full healing.
help is out there.

U deserve happiness... health and healing.

i am going to add a euro tv show that i have become a fan of




several of these shows can be watched on youtube.
if you find it interesting.

i will continue to write about my journal of health and healing
i hope this was helpful
or at least insightful to the in and outs
of more people than you know.

please try and be kind to those u know. u never know what
they are secretly struggling with.

may you be bless on this day

i fell in love with a dead boy

i became a fan on anthony hegarty very recently
and the above posted video. i am very fond of

his/her (a very androgynous being-and this is my attraction as well)
i find the voice backed up by a full orchestra
touching.

i have played this song several times and several times
there has been moments of falling
even a feeling of floating.
yet in that falling i felt suspended in a bubble of peace

if only us as our current human being-ness
accepted all walks of life..androgynous, lesbian, straight, meat eater
yoga lover, vegan snacker ,gangster rapper.

i get stuck in the potential of our beings

upon walking a path of a teacher of kundalini yoga

i find this technology so welcoming so healing.
the message that seems to be so clear is you are God
everything
in the universe resides within you.

you need no acceptance from others: (from church, from state)
you are perfect as you are .
all you do need is acceptace of yourself.

your goal as a child of truth:
is
being of total love
healing forgiveness and kindness to yourself

having lived in a lesbian relationship for several years of my life
i found that the community of lgbt need this message.

this technology of kundalini yoga is a tool an awakening a healer

to abuse yourself because your different????
you were born with a male body but find urself to be a soul of a woman.
great! more power to you for having the power to be honest with
yourself which says so very much.

today this post is dedicated to all my lesbian, gay , transgendered, bisexual sisters and brothers...may you stand in your truth with
courage. May you know u are respected by Me and have My heart
and love pumping out to you...Congrads on being YOU~!!!!!

let church and state continue to be church and state
and you just continue being courage, strength and the truth!

Bless U
everyday

the rise and fall of the tides.......

the snaps included in this post
were taken during a full moon
while standing barefoot in the high desert..

today i reflect on changes

the highs the lows
i am walking upon a path of healing
yet
there are times when i feel like the dust that
gathers on things that stand still

i have thought many times while walking upon this journey
how can i be a yogini?

i

the tripped out bass head that was
covered in enough glitter i could of covered many world
over and i did
(in my mind at least)

i realize now i come with the experience of flaws
or knowings of acid filled nights
blunt rolled reasonings
love lost
friendships broken
addictive behaviors
betrayals endured and survived

i contain a  knowing someone coming from a place of
growing up (in a spiritual family)
and followed all the rules of sobriety and rightful living
may not have faced or better lived.

so i come to you in knowing and sharing
change is good and
change opens doors

healing is so very possible
and so very close
all you have to do is jump.

and bow your head to your heart
u deserve this
happiness this healing

with these words being written i share

the meditation for healing yourself and others


sit in easy pose (crossed legged) or in a chair with spine
straight. Bend your elbows and place them by your sides,
slightly in front of your ribs. Place your forearms
straight up and bend your wrists away from you so that your flat
palms are facing upward.
close your eyes, hold the posture, and vibrate the following
mantra: RA MA DA SA-SA SAY SO HUNG
(sun, moon, earth , infinity-totality of infinity i am thou.)

continue chanting this mantra for 3-11 minutes. to end the meditation, inhale and suspend your breath briefly, and exhale. repeat this breath sequence twice more relax.

Benefit: you are that which they call the universe.
(meditation can be found in the book: a woman's book of yoga, by: Michelle Seibel and Hari Kaur Khalsa)
May you be bless

and in the beginning

she began..


she inhaled...
and jumped.........................





join me if you wish
to read the tales of
a girl. a junglist .a raver. a lover of pretty things.
a lesbian. a straight person. a divorcee.

an outsider.
looking in.

but then again on that parallel tip
an insider
looking in.
deeply
looking in.


a adventurer. a traveler. a window opener. a Goddess.

a yogini.

a junked out tripper turned straight edge breather.

a poet. a photographer. a music lover.
a teacher. a estastic dancer.
a happy loving hipped out chola.
a west (sider).
a lady unfolding...............

may you be bless in all your happenings.......

and thank u for joining me
in a new chapter of this
unfolding....